Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Sicks Days

I find it hard to use sick days: Admission of weakness. I know I should take the time off. I would encourage anyone I work with to do the same. Logic doesn’t impact. I still hate staying home sick. This practice was heavily discouraged during my childhood; skeptical looks. Even when I’m so sick I find it hard to breathe, I dread skeptical looks. I grew up sick, on and off, and was always aware of my health. Most children are ignorant of their good health. I grew up aware that my body was not strong. I grew up aware that the physical was not my arena. I’m familiar with physical discomfort and pain, and I work at minimizing its effect on my mind; at least I can still read and think. Reading was great for the weak bodied kid. It is still great for the adult. I still dread using sick days; stinks like personal failure; stinks like weakness.

I’m getting better. I’m home sick today for the second full day. I wish I wasn’t, but wishes are hopes that can not generate ideas. To a great extent we are still subject to our bodies and are left to deal with what they give us. Maybe I should go back to my “black-shirt” lifestyle (i.e. see entries concerning Technomonk). I was not sick a day during that period. While I’m getting better at taking the appropriate time off I would still rather never need to take any time off.

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