Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Errors

My best errors are the ones I can identify,
while the worst are the ones I can not.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Trust & Risk

There is a relation between trust and risk, but not in this order.  Risk precedes, trust follows.  Trust is established upon experience.  Where there is no experience, there is only risk.  The more that is known the greater confidence of outcome, the greater trust. 

 

Trust is specific.  Risk is general.  We have confidence that a trusted thing will produce an expected outcome, but for risk we must take into account all relevant contributions.  We consider what is knowable when considering risk, and what is known when acting out of trust.

 

Trust increases with each relevant moment, while risk diminishes as experience accumulates.  For risk there is only decrease, until new types are discovered or new states appear within the known, by this I refer to novelty of circumstance.

 

Trust is measured, risk is what is not measured:  [0,1).

Monday, April 27, 2009

I can only keep writing

Keep trying

Trying to express

I can only keep on

With expectations limited

To catharsis

And personal

Private moments of glory.

I keep writing

Knowing glory will be a personal

Private experience

Enjoyed

But unshared.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

D.

You don't like poetry,

Especially without flow,

But why do people keep

Writing it,

Why?

 

  1. Its cheaper than an anti-depressant prescription.
  2. They like it for reasons you do not value
  3. They like it for reasons you do not notice
  4. All of the above 

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I feel lately,

That I should accept the conclusion

That I won't be great.

If I was good,

Natural talent,

I would have had some traction by now.

Even without traction

I keep on,

I keep on writing

I keep on dreaming

I keep on working toward a goal

I have no reason to anticipate.

I see no reason to stop.

Goals are optional.

Dreams are required.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Break From Concern

There are good reasons to keep your head down:

Global recession, global warming, crisis, revolution, apocalypse, etc.

I'm tired of head down; been so long

I'm keeping count of each step.

Ready to lift my head up,

Take a peek,

Take a look,

Take a break from concern.

Fuck-it, comes natural after awhile:

Shoe gazing safety valve.

There comes a time to look up,

Take a peek,

Take a look,

Take a break from concern.

Friday, April 17, 2009

- Coffee cooling too fast, and 
the morning news is harsh without purpose.

- Resignation slowly suplants confidence.
No rush, there is no reason to rush.

- Sipping tepid coffee and wondering,
how to leverage my courage, to stay ahead.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

- Cursing at the smaller birds grackles dig in the yard, 
flames of commerce; fanned.

- Warmed from chores, little hits of productivity
defending integrity of thought

- Accept package in the driveway, blue and brown books, 
escapes to plan

Monday, April 13, 2009

Normal

Old customs embraced by the new generation,
will be presented to the next, while the unaccepted
will be slipped into the arms of historians,
like impoverished children abandoned to the rich.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I wish to be thought of,
with fondness.
Fondness is a good context,
for my faults.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Preface to the Tractus

The preface provided by Mr. Ludwig Wittgenstein for his Tractus distinctly impressed upon me just what a preface could be capable of accomplishing.  I have come to consider these fat cut from the steak. I was off the mark.  My error was not wrong in experience, but in limitation of experience.  I could say more, but in light of this preface and feeling the presence of W, I must pass over the rest in silence.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Economic doom preached daily as news

Vague nervousness and unmetered worry

Walking through a fog to refill coffee

Stories End

Approaching the end of a biography of Ludwig Wittgenstein (Ray Monk) I find myself filled with empathy.  I find much of his behavior in life easy to understand.  This is not self aggrandizing, it is humbling.  He was difficult.  He struggled with problems no one else recognized, nor needed to.  Others imagined themselves in his position and could easily think how easy his life should be, "why wasn't he easier?"  Because living was not easy for him.  Biographies of this kind, the ones that hit confidence and change self image, the ones that have an aspect of a mirror to them, are important experiences:  Difficult maybe, delivering more than initially looked for certainly.  I'm approaching the end of this biography and wonder what comes after.  How will I deal with his death and the end of his story?  How will my story change?

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Undisturbed

- Pot pies heat longer at altitude, 

same bright chicken though, same warm gravy.


- Amped up on home made coffee, 

feeling dark roasted,  feeling quite shiny.


- Lunching early today with easy thoughts,  

the work goes down smooth, undisturbed.


Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Response to a Comment from Daniel Soler

Response:
It is my position that none of the external world can be categorized as true or false. It is the internal world that is articulated with facts that can be falsified. It is questions concerning the nature and role of falsified facts that peeks my interest. 

Reference:

Remainders: Trust

There is no limit to the amount of trust desired, more is always welcome.    

-


Diversity of experience is more beneficial to trust than repetition.


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

- Coffee steaming next to laptop, 

daily news rattles like city traffic .


- Tired eyes and aching body hold

a mind, not on fire, but smoldering.


- Kindling carefully applied with a soft 

exhale, seeking to breathe flame back in.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Question on Importance of Wrong

Stated:

How much of knowing what is true lies in knowing what is not true?

 

Restated:

How much of knowing who you are, lies in knowing who you are not?

How much of choosing is selection, and how much is excluding?

Can we truly know how to do a thing until we know all the ways to not do it?

Must we fully explore what is false before we can be certain of what is true?

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Flight of Paul and Jessica

sand dunes spill through desolate scape
fatherless and exiled this same night
eyes take horizon scanning for escape
extremes grow cold, bold with fate

Friday, April 03, 2009

Brief Thoughts on Time

The me of yesterday can hinder the me of today, and the me of today is responsible for not hindering the me of tomorrow.  Each day we recover or benefit from the preceding and work to benefit the proceeding.  In this way the string of subsequent days we call our life is not you, it is an accounting ledger of gains and losses from day to day.  
-

The you of yesterday is an investor that looks forward to reward, while the you of tomorrow is an employee demanding more pay.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Prolonged physical discomfort makes concentration difficult.  The mind keeps returning to the body malfunctions, spinning up a thread of thought to look for relief, each time interrupting the more important mental work, each time setting back progress a bit.  

-

Some days it seems everything around me is failing and breaking down, and I feel this as an assault on my time.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Unconscious Self Changes

During your morning routine you realize, in a fit of hyperbole, that everything has changed.  Your significant difference, compared to your last backup of self impression, hits you as fresh insight. You will immediately ponder on causes, the why of it.  You can save yourself time and make your first assumption that you are the cause of it.  You can then immediately begin narrowing down the event or series of events, the when of it.  


None of this activity changes the fact that you are different, have been for some time, and are just now becoming fully aware of it, but you probably can't help but go through the motions of explanation, so remember to assume you are the direct cause of changes to you.