Sunday, June 27, 2010

What am I looking for this morning?

I'm hunting for something.

I feel that pull,
vague and unspecified,
for an unknown satisfaction
of an unnamed need.
 
I feel the itch,
but my fingers are lost 
and idle.
I've been surfing for hours
looking but not finding
leaving unsatisfied
thinking that I need more discipline.
Maybe I've been too soft;
too easy on myself.
 
Whatever I'm missing
will take more than surfing,
more than chemicals
and more than love
(and hugs and kisses)
to finally find.
 
And even though I don't know what I need
I do know that it will take more than tonight;
More than years of tonight.
I will need stamina and vigor.
I will need focus and humility
to find my elusive and unpopular prize
 
I also know
that I may never find it
but that does not change
the fact that searching
is the closest to finding
I've experienced yet.

Its a relief
to search.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

We Walked Out

Squirrel sits on back porch,
Casual .
Eating last week's bread.
Rotating crust in eager hands.
Munching until its crumbs. He's done.
Back to the table for another.
It’s the garden of Eden for this one.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

On The Job Training

We learn how to be married,
How to be parents, and friends.
We learn how to grow old.

We are constant amateurs.

Monday, June 14, 2010

patholysis

Interesting article about personal freedom.  It got me thinking about freedom, especially personal freedom.

I was surprised that the interviewer wasn't more of a self-righteous ass-hat.  He wasn't.

The single worst moment of my life... was the moment I was born.

-

Recently, I had three former CEOs of companies -- perfectly healthy -- who called me up and told me they wish to die.

--Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Friday, June 11, 2010

Onions aren't so bad

She was crying in the kitchen
I ignored this, until I couldn't
Beer reluctantly put down
Slow walk into adjoining room
I asked the required question,
"What's wrong?"
A quick wipe of the eyes
And a, "Nothing"
"Nothing, really"
"Just chopping onions".
Which she was.

But she was not just tearing up
Her eyes were not simply leaking
She was sobbing before I came in
And onions do not do that.
They do not push grown women beyond tears
into muffled sobs and gentle body shakes.
Onions do not do that.

I felt awkward
And unprepared.

"Move over, I'll finish chopping these"
"Onions hardly effect me at all"
She didn't resist
Smiled weakly
But sweetly,
"Thanks,"
"I'll be right back"
Which she was.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Each new generation will find
a reason to doubt the present
And hope for a future more to their liking

Friday, June 04, 2010

I'm an amateur at this
I'm half way through my life expectancy
And I still don't really know what to expect
Part of me wants the change to stop
Or at least to slow way down
Give us a rest
Let us get some confidence,
Let us bring some professionalism to living
This is the same part of me
That dreams of perfection,
the number one, Infinity,
And one hundred percent.
We must conceive of perfection
We must be able to make use of the ideal
But to believe in it
To measure life against it
To use it as a light
To cast your shadows of purpose with it
Is a dangerous abuse

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

If you can do it when you want to
There is a better chance of doing it when you have to