Sunday, June 27, 2010

What am I looking for this morning?

I'm hunting for something.

I feel that pull,
vague and unspecified,
for an unknown satisfaction
of an unnamed need.
 
I feel the itch,
but my fingers are lost 
and idle.
I've been surfing for hours
looking but not finding
leaving unsatisfied
thinking that I need more discipline.
Maybe I've been too soft;
too easy on myself.
 
Whatever I'm missing
will take more than surfing,
more than chemicals
and more than love
(and hugs and kisses)
to finally find.
 
And even though I don't know what I need
I do know that it will take more than tonight;
More than years of tonight.
I will need stamina and vigor.
I will need focus and humility
to find my elusive and unpopular prize
 
I also know
that I may never find it
but that does not change
the fact that searching
is the closest to finding
I've experienced yet.

Its a relief
to search.

2 comments:

Marvin the Martian said...

Yep, you need another drink. ;-)

domboy said...

I feel the same, and think of going to Tahiti. I used to look down on Gauguin for leaving his family ... but over time, it has come to symbolise a step back towards integrity.