Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A Lesson in Towel Usage

-  OK.  I'm ready to get out.

+ Wait.  First, use your hands to whisk the water off your head, now shake your head briskly.

- OK.  Done

+ Now, hand whisk the water from your arms and torso.

- Done.

+ Now, hold one leg in the air and shake it briskly, but carefully, and step out of the bath with that leg first.

- This feels silly.

+ Steady yourself by placing your opposing hand against the tile.

- That’s easier, but no less silly.

+ Now that you have one leg out of the bath, shake the other leg briskly.

- Can't I get my towel first? 

+ No.  Your legs hold a lot of water and the more that you remove the less that is left for the towel to absorb.

- Isn't that the point of the towel?  To absorb?

+ Yes, but it is a tool to absorb what you can't yourself remove or what has not already air dried.  Now, shake your left leg briskly.

- There, done.  And still embarrassing and silly btw.

+ The next step depends on time and modesty constraints.  Optimally, given time and modesty requirements, you would stand still or go about your other bathroom tasks until completely air dried.  The towel is used when you must be clothed faster or share the facilities sooner.  The towel is used to speed a process in which it is not essential.

- The towel is nice though.  Why shouldn't  I just use it right off, it will dry.

+ No matter how soft, the towel will remove essential oils from your skin and will often leave the impression of dryness while leaving areas still wet, leading to you getting dressed too soon, which in turn leads to fungal infections, etc.  Also, the more moisture the towel absorbs the more likely it is to mildew before drying out.  Increasing washing and subsequently replacement requirements.

- Ewww.

+ Yes.  The towel is a useful tool but should be used appropriately and not without necessity.

- It still feels very silly, and what if someone sees me shaking my legs like that. 

+ Early man didn't feel silly shaking their hair about their faces, and staring into the wind coming off the surf.

- Maybe they ran down the beach until they were dry.

+ And maybe when they were very dirty, they would run and fall into the sand rolling until they were covered, before diving back into the water, splashing the day from their bodies.  Swimming into the cool embrace of  the bay.

- And then :-)

+ Then they walk out and sit, each in her favorite spot, on logs surrounding a newly lit fire.  Or standing holding his hands to the fire, noticing the first glimpse of sister moon.  All their hair blown dry by the wind, filling them with the scent of salt and dry wood smoke.

- That sounds nice.

+ Maybe this summer you should camp by the beach and give it a try.  BTW - Are you dry yet?

- Yes, perfectly so.  [Lesson Received]  I admit my skin feels better, more intact, if that makes any sense.

+ It does.  I know exactly what you mean.  When this was first told to me I camped at the beach with friends, and it was the best weekend of the summer.  I met my wife that weekend ;-)

- Thank  you, very well instructed. [Credit exchanged, with honors]

+  My pleasure. [honors accepted]