Friday, October 15, 2010

Prayer Tactics Learned from Observation

There is an abortion clinic a few blocks from my home.  It is usually a quiet small business, except for a few times a year when Christian groups come out to protest and generally harass and make a nuisance of themselves.   They have signs about prayer and shutting down the legal small business, etc.  What's funny is that their prayers are obviously not working.  Its the fourth or fifth "40 days of prayer" and nothing has changed.  Their prayers are so obviously not effective that its surprising to me that they still come.  But I realize now that they don't actually expect their prayers to be answered.  They are their to be seen.  To embarrass and make it difficult for others to exercise their personal beliefs.  I realized that these people are exhibitionists.  They are their to protest the personal freedoms being exercised by others, in ways they don't agree with.  They are basically bullies.

By watching these Christians I have come up with the following list of prayer tactics:

  • Kneeling makes a prayer more powerful.
  • Prayer power decreases with range, closer to target is better.
  • Prayer power increases when pointed directly at the target.
  • Prayer power is maximized when touching the target.
  • Prayer power is multiplied by the number of people praying for the same thing.
  • Prayer can force others to do things the way the prayer wants them to, and this seems to be a justified use of force.  And is not considered rude or bullying.
  • Prayer cannot be tested, it always works even when it doesn't.
  • Unlike wishes you can pray for more prayer. :-)

1 comment:

Marvin the Martian said...

"O Lord, bless this, thy Holy Hand Grenade, with which we might blow Thine enemies into tiny bits." (Monty Python)