Sunday, November 27, 2016

Fauna Taking Measure

We are not vegetation.
We can change situations
  when we have had enough of them,
    or when we have taken their measure.

Why did man travel out of Africa,
  over mountains,
    across deserts,
      and across seas?

What drives us away from the known,
  and away from our comfortable places?

Desire for a better situation, of course.
Seeking an improved mold of self,
  better than the one

Selves are always changing,
  occasionally noticed,
    and now is the next step
    ,the next self, we will be standing upon
    (on the way up,
      or down).

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Doing Well

When I say I'm doing well,
I mean that my active selves 
fit reasonably well into my
daily experience. 

When I say I'm doing well,
I mean that my dominant self
looks to be forming 
                  into a 
                         solid     up.

When I say I'm doing well,
I'm expecting my next self 
to be even better than
the one writing
this poem.

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

No escape now; time for coffee and something sweet.

Afternoon comes.  Horrible time.  The hope and enthusiasm of the morning burning away, leaving clock watching nerves.  Afternoon anxiety.  A time of transition, when failures occur.  Things break at night, sure, but they didn’t start breaking then, just finished.  No, failures occur in the afternoon.  Things break when we are getting those afternoon coffees and snacks.  When we are about to put in that last work session of the day.  That is when it hits you, or slides out from under you, or comes at you sideways, whatever… that is when it happens.  You may not notice.  You may feel off a bit, or not in step.  You may not notice, too busy or too distracted.  You just broke, and you might not know it.  This is where a certain type of mystery comes from, “What happened?”  All mystery comes from ignorance, of course, but this type of mystery is avoidable, just have to notice the small things and get lucky.

Of course, it must be said that sometimes, all wisdom can do is change “What happened?” to “Here it comes.”

Friday, October 21, 2016

Absolute freedom is an absurdity when applied to reality, but when left abstracted it is a direction, a compass needle showing us the way out.

Our purpose in life is to express our individual natures as freely and fully as possible.

Love is an entanglement of purpose.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

“We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” 
― Charles Bukowski

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

What is real is uncertain,
what is certain is ideal.

Thursday, September 08, 2016

We could not be other than we are, there is no escape from cause and effect.

Actions are the true evidence of our assent.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Morning Notes

  • Remember that reality is circumstance.
  • Remember the multiplicity of self.
  • Remember that response is self.

We respond to our circumstances.  Our responses define us.  We learn from change.  Learning changes our responses to circumstance, changing who we are in the process.

How you respond is who you are, and how you respond changes over time as do you

Each response we make to circumstance changes us.  All action is self-change.  To pick up a glass of water I am making numerous changes in my body.  My action begins with changing myself, which subsequently changes circumstance.

I can only change my circumstance by changing myself through actions taken as response to that circumstance.  I can only improve my response, or pattern of self change, by learning from change.  Learning brings changes to responses.  Change yourself, change your world.

We must be able at a minimum to deliberate a response to circumstance, take that response, make the self changes that are part of the response, and observe resulting changes to circumstance.

Learning starts when two two circumstances are connected by the responses selected.  Change can be detected and associated with the response and circumstance.

Message to a friend

I'm sorry you were raised with a religious world view.  You are going to try and make sense out of so many things, that just don't make any sense.  You could spend years slowly growing out of the box you were forced into as a child.  It will take time.

First you must accept that you are not broken or evil.  You were not born with some curse or sin from thousands of years ago.  You don't require some metaphorical bath in blood to clean off the imaginary guilt from something you didn't do.  Original sin is bullshit.  You were born innocent and free.  Once you can take original sin out of your world view things get brighter and happier.

So first, think seriously about original sin.  Think through what you are telling others with that doctrine and what you were told as a child.  In your innocence and freedom you were constrained by imaginary guilt from the past;  told you will suffer horrifically and that you deserve it. Your parents showed no outrage, they seemed to agree that you were stained and tainted by original sin, and that only other violent imaginings could help you, you need a disgusting bath in blood, and you could get this by submitting to them and their sick story.  "Just confess your guild... come on do it."  You with so little experience and innocent and unable to protest or protect yourself could do nothing but bow your head and admit how sinful you are, even though you were not.  You were a child.  You did not deserve suffering.  You did not deserve eternal loneliness and death, and you shouldn't have been threatened with it.  You deserved love and attention.  You deserved patience while you learned, not beatings.  You deserved a nurturing loving home.  You were told you had one.  You didn't know any better at the time.

Now you know better or are beginning to wonder.  You may still have a host of fears trying to freeze you into inaction.  Make them prove themselves.  Accept no fear unless it is reasonable.  Most of all give yourself the time you need.  It could take a decade or more to undo what was done to you.  Be patient and brave.  Let yourself slowly emerge.

Care for yourself enough to protect yourself from those who would push ugly hateful doctrines on you.  Do not accept them.  Do not submit.  Always remember who you are and what you have done, and base your self worth on that, not on Adam, not on Jesus, not on the jabbering voices of those evangelizing.

I went through it, and so can you.  Its not your fault if you grew up in a fundamental religion.  Its never too late to free yourself from it.  You will be happier, and you will see others in a brighter more optimistic light.  You will find that many humans wrote books with wisdom in them, now all open for you benefit.  Take what you like and leave the rest.  Slowly, deliberately put your new self together.

Monday, June 06, 2016

TM: Music Discipline Exceptions

So far in 2016 I have made two music exceptions to the rule.  The first was Radiohead's new album.  The second is the new work by Autechre, elseq 1-5.

No mature rule is without exceptions, and no useful rule tolerates more than just enough.  Exceptions are neither good nor bad in themselves.  They are a tool of discipline, adjusting a template to an instance. They are a thing whose currency depends on scarcity, meaning they must be used sparingly.  A rule with exceptions will endure, while a rule without will soon be broken and pass from practice into something remembered.

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

pain cannot make life bad,
just as absence of pain
cannot make life good.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A Minute

how strange to be restless
agitated and bored

looking out windows
as if ships could be seen
coming in

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Conversation; disciple and master

You’ve misunderstood the question completely.  It’s not, “What will you die for?”  It’s, “What will you live for?”  People die without any reason all the time, and many after living without any reason either.  It’s living with reason that we are trying to talk about, and if you aren’t going to try any harder than this, I’d just as soon get back to my books.

How do you live for something?  Most of our days aren’t much more than fetching water, lighting candles, making paper, collecting paper and the occasional trip to fetch ink.  How does any of that encompass a reason to live?

I cannot give you a reason to live, nor can I define your purpose in life any better than I have already.  I can’t make you wise and would not even if I could.  You must grow into your potential, there is no good in my stretching you into shape, and such force leaves the disciple brittle and misshapen, only to be done in extreme distress.  An ugly and difficult process.

But you know these things.  You know that I love you, and you remember your lessons.  If you want a command to follow, find a calm and quiet place and meditate for two days, drinking only water and eating simply and sparsely.  Speak to no one.  When you have done this, return to me and we will speak of what is to come.

Yes master, I hear and obey.